We often get calls and emails from overwhelmed Alzheimer’s caregivers looking for help. We received an email yesterday from a frustrated caregiver and thought we would share it with the community in hopes it will help others in the same position and open it up to further suggestions from our network of caregivers here at Best Alzheimer’s Products. (Names have been changed) Please feel free to leave your thoughts or suggestions in the comments section below.
I need some help and I don’t know if I am being patient enough and please forgive me because I sometimes get angry even though Mom cannot help it. How should I react? Mom does not stop with the questions:
“Am I suppose to…?”
“Oh, where are we going?”
“Is it Frank’s birthday?”
And then she repeats herself relentlessly explaining the same information over and over. Last night I said “you are not going to ask me any questions for 30 minutes O.K.?” Her son makes dumb jokes to Mom and I don’t think she understands him and I don’t think he is funny. I need to read the blogs here. I am saying to much. I don’t want to send Mom away yet I must get some balance and get prepared for her future and ours.
Thank you for your email through our blog. It sounds like you have your hands full. It can be very frustrating to hear the same questions over and over again, but try to be patient and remind yourself that your mother in law doesn’t remember that she has just asked you a question as the part of her brain that creates memories is failing. It will also help to keep her engaged in activities that she can do. If she is actively engaged, she will be happier and it will make your job as a caregiver much easier. Learn more about the importance of activities here: https://best-alzheimers-products.com/activities-for-alzheimers.html.
I’m guessing your mother-in-law is living with you. Both you and your husband should read as much as you can so that you can help each other to help her. You can find a lot of information on our website, https://best-alzheimers-products.com.
If you are the primary caregiver, consider respite care so that you can have a break and she can be with other people. You can find an Adult Day Center near you at this website on the top right corner: https://nadsa.org/. If this is not possible, look into an agency that can send someone to be with her for a couple of hours a day as many times a week as feel that you need. Be sure to select an agency that has well trained dementia carers. Visiting Angels and Comfort Keepers are two good agencies that come to mind.
There will likely come a time when you and your husband can no longer care for her at home. Now is the time to start investigating your options. Don’t wait until a crisis happens, such as an injury from a fall or illness. Try to find a facility that you like and where you think she would be well cared for.
I hope this helps. Feel free to reach out with any other questions.